No sewing just yet. Hand and wrist sprain are healing and I am definitely on the mend. Hope to try some cutting today and get started on the Viola project.
I did have to go to work yesterday at the shop and just have to share an interaction I experienced with you all. The shop where I work offers cooking classes twice a month, and we had an (obviously) older lady contact us to sign up for one of the class offerings. She freely shared with us that she was not only signing up for the class but making the occasion a vacation destination for herself. She planned to stay at a local hotel (actually the one right across the street from the shop!), and attend the class, and explore our little town. After a couple of days she was planning to visit a nearby town and explore its delights for a couple of days as well. After the class she made reservations with us and with the hotel to return next year.
The thing of it was, this lady was in her mid seventies, maybe even eighty. She didn't have a husband. I somehow surmised that she was a widow, but at any rate, she was determined not to let being alone in the world stop her from having a vacation, experiencing some fun or having an adventure. She told me she had driven all the way to our town on her own, and planned to make the vacation an annual occurrence.
She thoroughly enjoyed the class, and purchased two cases of our products to experiment with at home when she tried out the class recipes on her own.
I so admired her for not just throwing in the towel and staying at home in her senior years just because she had no one to share things with anymore. She was brave and intrepid, and determined not to let age and her single status dictate that she should stay at home and throw in the towel.
She shared with me that she planned to buy some new tee shirts, do some wine tasting, eat out at restaurants and ignore her usual dietary restrictions. She was planning to moderately kick up her heels. She seemed totally ok to experience all these new things all on her own.
I admired her, but at the same time, my heart went out to her. I kept imagining her going back to her hotel room all alone with her little shopping bag, her bottle of wine ( to be consumed alone), and her solitary plan for the next day. I kept thinking she needed someone to not just share things with her, but look after her. What if she fell? What if someone took advantage of her? What if she encountered car trouble or some other unforeseen bad luck?
Do any of you know any single ladies of advanced age who are in a similar situation? Are any of you readers in the same boat? How do you feel about doing things on your own? Do you think you can't go on vacation, to concerts, to new destinations, because you do not have a partner? Do any of you have suggestions on how to make our senior years just as full of fun and new experiences as our younger years? Even if we are now on our own?
Remember that wonderful quilter we met the first year we went to the Buggy Barn quilt show, the one who drove herself from Portland and was there by herself? She made friends with everybody and seemed to have the best time. Whenever we asked her to join us she already had plans! My secret fantasy is to spend a month in Paris, by myself, 6 months would be even better!!
Posted by: Thelma | August 27, 2015 at 05:52 AM
Sweet AMIL was that sort of person and wherever we lived, she'd come visit by herself because FIL was a difficult hermit.
Both AMIL and my mother went on overseas tours with another single friend to room with.
An elderly friend of mine often went on bus tours to historic areas with quilt shops and she made good friends with others on the bus since they traveled together for two weeks.
I agree that it would be far more fun to travel with someone else so there would be someone to share the experiences, the laughs, and the time.
Hugs!
Posted by: Barbara Anne | August 27, 2015 at 06:23 AM
Hi! Thank you for this post. My husband passed away in March and I find myself in this same situation if I want to travel, even to a neighbouring city! I have resigned myself if this is what I want to do, I will have to do it in my own. I have a few single friends, but they are not feeling like they want to group travel at this time. But I have a long life to live and want to do many things! I really like Thelma's idea of France! They have a moderate winter I understand! Take care all! Leslie
Posted by: Leslie | August 27, 2015 at 07:19 AM
The older I get, the more I appreciate people keeping their energy and good health as best they can. it is not easy to keep motivated but some people seem to have the secret to do just that. This lady sounds like a wonderful person making the best of her circumstances. Good for her!
Mary
Posted by: Mary Kastner | August 27, 2015 at 07:22 AM
What a thought-provoking post! I applaud this lady who makes her own happiness & enjoyment a priority! The 92-year-old mom of our friends is very similar as far as keeping on keeping on despite having been a widow for almost 15 years! She plays Bridge twice a week (sometimes three days!), belongs to a couple of charitable groups & still bakes for various church activities! She & her friends go out to restaurants & concerts many times each month! We all say we hope we can be like her when we get to that age…truly an inspiration! Oh! And she still makes quilts & goes to Quilt Guild meetings where another lady is 102!!
Posted by: Jan | August 27, 2015 at 07:42 AM
My Mom was 90 when she died. She cooked meals for our employees 5 days a week for 10 years after we opened our business. She fixed family meals at least every two weeks. She sewed crafts for my niece's craft shows, crocheted afghans for everyone, baked and made candies for the holidays. Her theory was if you just sit and do nothing you won't live to be 90...She cooked for our crew on Feb 4th of that year and she passed away the 23rd. She was alert and left this earth the way she wanted, quickly. She always said age is just a number. Keep going!
Posted by: Laura Valdez | August 27, 2015 at 08:37 AM
Many married people are bystanders in the road of life, not just single older people. I was single for many years and went to movies, shopping, concerts, traveled and LIVED. I didn't think I needed a man to do these things. Yes, company is great, and I have a great guy now, but I have single friends who are smart, financially secure and BORING. They do nothing, have all the time off from work, but are afraid to live. How sad and hats off to this woman.
Posted by: Sharon | August 27, 2015 at 09:12 AM
You just assumed that because she's alone that she's lonely and I didn't think that you are right there. Perhaps she is a widow but also I could be that she has a husbandd who gave her this trip as a gift. How about next time you meet her you invited her for a cup of coffee and a nice little chat and find out (and please share with us then;-) That's said I know a nice old 92yo who has a active social life and you're lucky to catch her at the phone because she's away most of the time:-)
Posted by: Hildy | August 27, 2015 at 09:15 AM
I'm single and have dealt with this dilemma often. I've come to the conclusion, if I want to do something or travel, I can't wait around for others to join me. I'll invite, but I don't put my plans on hold for long. I eat alone all the time, so why not at a restaurant, too? Being alone is not the same as being lonely.
Too many of my friends think they simply cannot do things alone; my answer is, "yes you can!"
Posted by: Nancy | August 27, 2015 at 10:21 AM
Being single and active at any age can have difficulties, but the solution is always the same: just do it. At 57 and widowed I do find it hard to find similar travel buddies, but manage one way or another. The biggest obstacle I find is my grown children worrying about me, but they're learning to let go a bit just like I had to with them some years ago. I try not to make the pay-backs too hard on them.
Posted by: JanetD | August 27, 2015 at 10:33 AM
Yes, me and I love it. Doing what I want to, meeting new people and answering to no one. Liberating.
Posted by: Suzy | August 27, 2015 at 03:55 PM
I'm glad others mentioned that being alone doesn't mean you're lonely. It, of course, depends on the personality of the individual, but for those of us who are adventurers, life is never boring!
Posted by: Vicky | August 28, 2015 at 01:14 AM
Yes this is a thought provoking post! My Mom has been a widow 9 years now, and she is scared about too many things and in a fear based holding pattern.
Good for this lady to go and grab life by the horns! Inspiring!
Posted by: Liz S. | August 30, 2015 at 05:39 PM
What an inspiring story Nicole. I love hearing about women like the one you described. A great example of how to live in our "golden" years.
Posted by: Wendy T. | September 01, 2015 at 08:02 AM
My mother is 81, she vacations in Spain twice a year. This year she added a week's trip on the Rhine in during the early summer. A travel company in her local town (she lives in England) does coach trips. She took one to Winchester Cathedral when there was a flower show. It was to see if she liked the company because they have a multi day trip to Liverpool that she wants to take. My father died 8 years ago and she said she wasn't going to sit around doing nothing for the rest of her life.
Posted by: Helen | September 08, 2015 at 09:10 AM